Whoever claimed lawyers were good at math:

Lawyer: How many children to you have, Ma'am?

Witness: Three.

Lawyer: How many are girls?

Witness: Three.

Lawyer: How many are boys?


Or distances for that matter:

Lawyer: How far away were the vehicles when the collision occurred?

Here's a brilliant lawyer trying to nail down the eyewitness testimony to a convenience store robbery:

Lawyer: Can you please describe the perpetrator of this crime?

Store clerk: About 6 foot 3 inches, two-hundred forty pounds, with a beard.

Lawyer: male or female?

Those are pretty weak, but here's my all-time favorite. I hope none of you ever get stuck with this public defender as your lawyer!   This guy was trying to prove that maybe...just maybe...the victim of the murder case wasn't really dead when the autopsy started.

Lawyer: Did you check for a pulse?

Coroner: No.  That's ridiculous.  I never check for a pulse.

Lawyer: Did you check any vital signs?

Coroner: Of course not.

Lawyer: Then isn't it just possible that the victim might have been alive when the autopsy started?

Coroner: No, that's not possible.

Lawyer:  If you didn't check any vital signs, how can you be so sure?

Coroner: Because his brain was on my desk in a jar.

Lawyer (hesitating):  Couldn't he have been alive nonetheless?

Coroner: I guess he could have been alive and practicing law someplace.